Whole Hearted Parenting
Joyfully Parenting with Your Whole Heart!
Parenting News You Can Use!
April 2007  Volume 3, Issue 12
April 2007
National Young Child and Stress Awareness Month



Linda
Strutz

April Events for Parents








Read CCIC Founder
Dr. Kerby T. Alvy's
Essay

Banning Corporal
Punishment

What the Arguments
Tell Us About Our
Character Regarding
the Treatment of
Children

CLICK HERE








Dispel Myths About
Adoption
CLICK HERE
              Tips for Removing
Splinters
without the Meltdown!
 
CLICK HERE
Why Kids Need Pets!
Click Here
Getting Kids to Eat Right  in a Junk Food World
Free Workshop in Miramar

Tuesday, April 24th from 7:00 - 8:30 PM

Healthy Recipes, Tips, and Traffic Light Eating

CLICK to RSVP










Walk Like an
Egyptian

Tie in Raiders of the Lost
Ark with an adventure in
your city to make
discovery of ancient
civilizations fun for your
children!

CLICK HERE

                                                     By age 3 children have fatty deposits in their
                                                arteries

                                                By age 12, 70% have developed beginning   
                                        stages of hardening of the arteries

Less than 7% of children and adolescents consume the recommended 2
servings of fruit and 3 servings of vegetables per day

What our children eat now impacts their future health

Read about Children's Heart Health
and
The Importance of Good Nutrition NOW!

CLICK HERE FOR ARTICLE
                        

                                                
A Taste of UYO - April 12th 7 PM
Learn with the heck UYO is all about in this free mini-course!  CLICK HERE to RSVP and receive directions.

Understanding Yourself and Others - April 20th - 22nd
Our lives are changed by Events, Experiences, and Encounters with others.  Sometimes, a simple, brief event
improves our perspective so profoundly we never see the world the same way again. Identify barriers to
your success, confront your fears and unanswered questions.
CLICK HERE for More!

Children's Letters to God
Hello Parents and Teachers --
Let's celebrate the month of April -- National Young Child and Stress Awareness Month -- by
exploring the value of composure, learning ways to reduce our stress, and discussing what young
children need.  Your will find tips on all of those topics along with some humor in this month's
issue.  We spotlight Linda Strutz who founded the Arts Academy of Hollywood.  She is a long-time
advocate for children and the arts.  There are four teleseminars in April that can help you soften
your approach to parenting while becoming more effective.  You'll find helpful tips on removing
splinters from a young child, a video on children and their pets, exciting adventures in ancient
civilizations, information about your child's heart health, amazing courses to help you experience
life at 100% and children's letters to God.  Enjoy this issue and the month of April!     

Wishing You Well --
Maggie   

Linda Strutz is an arts education powerhouse in Hollywood,
Florida.  An elementary teacher for many years, Linda followed
her passion for dance when she purchased the Hollywood
Dance Academy.  Setting up after-school arts programs for
children as well as a dance curriculum for young people and
adults, Linda created a focal point for dance just as the City
began revitalization efforts downtown.  Always a visionary,
Linda brought together artists in many fields to develop the Arts
Academy of Hollywood in 2004.  Housed in a two-story deco
building on Harrison Street, the AAOH is one of South Florida’s
largest comprehensive performing arts educational facilities.  
AAOH is committed to cultivating creativity for all ages by
offering classes in art, acting, musical theater, voice & music,
Tai Chi/Martial Arts, Holistic Arts, yoga, and all forms of dance
for toddlers through seniors.  The Arts Academy provides
performing arts instruction, master classes, dance, acting and
music performances, performing arts enrichment programs and
summer camps all in one state of the art venue.  For more,
please visit www.artsacademyofhollywood.com or call (954)
923-1950.

Teleseminars:
Dial in From Home
No Babysitters and No Driving



(1) Parents: Leaders not Dictators
Soften Your Approach AND Become More Effective
April 5th from 9:00 - 10:30 PM

(2) Taming Those Tantrums!
April 10th from 9:00 - 10:30 PM

(3) Effectively Handling Whining
"Would You Like Some Cheese with that Whine?"
April 16th from 9:00 - 10:30 PM

(4) What to Do Instead of Time Out
April 18th from 9:00 - 10:30 PM

Click Here for More!

"I have always been
delighted at the prospect
of a new day, a fresh try,
one more start, with
perhaps a bit of magic
waiting somewhere
behind the morning."
 
-- J.B. Priestly, author
The Power of Composure
by Maggie Macaulay, MS Ed

Re-printed with Permission from Parkland Life Magazine
David left his backpack on the living room floor surrounded by its contents and
went to his room to read.  David’s mother, Sue, came home from a long day at the
office.  The scattered mess greeted her as she walked into the house.  “David,” she
yelled, “how many times do I have to tell you pick up this stuff?  I work hard…I’m
not your maid!  Get in here right now or else!”  Is David thinking, “Boy, I need to be
more responsible”?  Probably not.  Did Sue feel good about her parenting?  
Probably not.  Did this interaction create closeness or distance in their relationship?  Clearly, distance.  
Following their interaction, Sue felt even more stressed and discouraged.  David, thinking his mother was a nag,
reconsidered talking to her about something going on at school.  He decided that she wouldn’t understand.  
Scenarios like this one happen every day and they provide great opportunities for parents to use composure to
build relationships and teach responsibility to their children.  The intention of creating closeness with our
children is a terrific incentive to calm ourselves down and regain our composure before we discipline.









The words that we say to our children become their inner voice.  To build self-esteem, give your children positive
words when you discipline so that their inner dialogue becomes encouraging rather than discouraging.  Tell
them what you WANT them to do not what you DON'T WANT them to do.   Notice in the example with Sue and
David that Sue did not provide usable, positive information.  The only clear request was "Get in here right now or
else."  That was delivered with a threatening tone that didn't inspire much cooperation!  Instead, Sue could have
said, "David, please pick up your things in the living room" or even a single word, "Backpack."  

When we are reactive, we are focusing on what we don’t want rather than on what we want.  Focusing on the
problem doesn’t change the situation.  Focusing on the solution creates change.  That shift in our focus to the
desired outcome trains our minds to look for the positive which also influences how we feel.  We will be calmer
and more composed.  Sue saw the messy living room.  Instead of yelling at David who wasn’t even in the room,
Sue noticed the tightness in her body, the trigger thoughts pushing her towards anger (“Why do I always have to
tell him to clean up?  I am tired.  He is old enough to know better!"), and she paused.  She focused on what she
wanted – David becoming more responsible.  From that point, Sue could pause and then decide how to teach
responsibility.    

The first change will be from us.  Having been on the planet longer than our children, we are more emotionally
mature.  We all know that yelling, power struggling, and reactive dialogue do not teach responsibility.  And if we
calm down before we discipline, the results will be more cooperation and a closer relationship.  If we want to
problem solve, we must function from the problem solving area of our brain.  Doing something physical, taking
deep breathes, saying a mantra, singing a song, and changing our trigger thoughts to something positive can
help us move from being reactive to being responsive.  We move from the lower levels of our brain to the upper
levels.  Sue realized how stressful her day at work had been.  Rather than let that spill over into her life at home,
she decided to take off her shoes and listen to classical music for ten minutes before talking to David about the
mess.          

Being composed takes practice.  We have years of experience at being reactive.  We have our own inner
dialogue to monitor.  The process of becoming composed will take time, practice, and many opportunities to
forgive ourselves for making mistakes.  It is not about being perfect.  It is about being close to your child.  Sue
realized that her thoughts about David were negative.  Instead, she thought that David’s day was stressful, too.  
Seeing that he was in his room reading, she thought, “Wow, my son loves to read!  Reading is definitely number
one with him!”  From this place of loving acceptance and composure, Sue could provide positive discipline.
We are most effective when we are composed.  When we are reactive, we model being out of
control at the moment we are requesting that our children display self-control!  Our children do
what we do, so modeling self-control is one of the most powerful gifts we can give our children.
 Learning to maintain and regain our composure will allow us teach our children effectively.  
Imagine that there is a large button in the middle of your forehead labelled with the word
PAUSE.  Following an event, such as Sue seeing the backpack and articles scattered around
the living room, push the PAUSE button!  Push it as long as you like until you are calm!